So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
