So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
