when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
