I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
