the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
