i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize