Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
