There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
