I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
