He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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