You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
