there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
