I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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