so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
