i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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