so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
