Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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