Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
