I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
