Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
