My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
