I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
home. puking in laundry basket.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
