This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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