why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
