The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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