all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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