It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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