my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
