that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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