OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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