And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
