Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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