Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize