Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Shame - the story of my life.
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