Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
