How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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