I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
