I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
