vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
