I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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