My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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