Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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