it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
