you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
