All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
