Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
