My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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