you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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