: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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