I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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