So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
