I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
