I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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