I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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