Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
that may or may not have been my penis.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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