Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
