the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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