Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I want her autograph on my taint
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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