I think i peed on brittanys purse
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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