Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
