My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
