I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Less talking, more tequila
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
