If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
