Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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