I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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