you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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